Solving family conflicts is not as simple as we think. So how can we resolve daily conflicts without affecting the sentiments of your relatives? The answer is in the article below.
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Conflict in the family is not an uncommon problem, it happens in most families, most of the time, from the small problems to the bigger ones. Conflicts can stem from family members themselves, or from external influences. Whether it is a big or small conflict, it’s important to resolve iy so the family can live in peace. In order to resolve the conflicts that your family is facing, you must memorize the following 6 recommended principles.
Find out the biggest cause of conflict
Sometimes we forget a major problem in all conflicts that is the cause of those conflicts. Usually, when a conflict occurs, each person focuses on his or her own arguments, on how to convince the other opponent. In order to solve any problem, it is required to understand its initial cause. If you identify the cause of controversy or conflict, you will surely be able to find a satisfying solution, instead of being unreasonably angry and smoldering.
Stay calm with any problem
Calm is always the best “sedative” for all problems, especially for family conflicts. During a conflict, there is no doubt that each person will have more or less anger, frustration. If not restrained properly, the discussion will turn bad and everyone will get hurt. If you do not stay calm, you easily lose control of your behavior and words, and as a result, it will make the situation more stressful.
Keeping calm during a family conflict may sound simple, but it’s not easy at all. This is a process that requires yourself to try to control, slow down and think more carefully before acting. Psychologists point out that, in a debate that occurs, if all sides try to stay calm, refrain from negative words and actions, solving that argument will bring out the most effective result. So, before trying to resolve family conflicts, remember this important principle.
Listen to your partner
This is a basic rule to be able to deal with family conflicts that you must remember. In many cases, when there is a conflict between family members, each of them only focuses on their own interests and arguments without knowing what the other wants and are thinking. Through listening, we learn how to put ourselves in the shoes of others, helping us to understand better.
In fact, there are many conflicting situations in the family that do not end up with a good solution, most of them reach the “dead end” because each individual does not know how to listen to the other. For example, a conflict very often occurs between parents and children such as parents forbid their children to love at an early age. Yet children always want their parents to understand and accept to let themselves be free to love. In this case, parents often rarely pay attention to changes in their children’s psychology, they only focus on forcing their children to concentrate on studying. Parents even opt for beating and intimidating their children, leading to many unfortunate incidents. If parents know how to listen to their children, perhaps the story was better resolved.
Give up the big ego
Family life is not only peaceful but also has many difficult times. This forces each individual in the family to bond with other members. But in reality, not everyone can do the same, especially for young couples. They arrogantly put their egos first and unsympathetically decline each other’s faults. Nevertheless, they insist on their own values, leading to growing differences in thinking.
Many young couples who have recently married rushed to divorce because of their untamed ego. Personal ego is the reason that pushes family conflicts into an uncontrollable climax, leading to undesirable outcomes. You need to remember that if you fail to get rid of the big ego, your family will probably break down. The time has come when we need to sacrifice our egos in order to preserve family happiness.
Absolutely refrain from “cold war”
You should note that “cold war” will never help resolve every conflict in the family, it will only make things worse. However, this is a basic error that almost everyone makes. A “cold war” happens when the parties are unable to come to an end in a situation where no one gives in. It is so dangerous it could cause your family relationship to distance. So instead of “cold war”, why not solve the problem you are facing with active discussion, showing care for the other party and ease the tension of the conflict?
Present, analyze personal opinion, find a solution
Refrain from loud arguments and the act of taking advantage of the other person. Those acts will not help you solve the problem but only make the other person feel deeply hurt. The person who is capable of solving the problem is someone who knows how to choose the perfect time when the conflict has been settled. This is the best time for you to show your perspective sincerely and gently. Then listen to each other’s views, analyze together and choose the best solution. Since the family is a symbiotic relationship, all family members have the same responsibilities and interests, so the problem must be taken care of with these factors considered. When the interests of both parties are satisfied, the matter will be immediately resolved.
The principles for dealing with family conflicts are not disconnected. They have close relationships and need to be flexibly applied to each other. Remember by heart these 6 principles, you will surely have a better way of dealing with all family conflicts and make your home happy.
